25 June 2011

I Miss the Unethicist

I am booking a bus to take a group of friends to a political event. The bus holds 47 people. I'm thinking of confirming, say, 55 people, on the almost certain assumption that some won't show up at 5:30 on a Saturday morning as they promised. Is that ethical? — name withheld, Illinois

This is the second most common problem facing anyone planning a party bus. The most common problem of course being "traditional stripper pole" or "lucite stripper pole laced with Christmas lights"?

Of course, the problem runs much deeper than simply figuring out how many people to over invite to make sure that absolutely NO SEAT goes empty on what sounds like a REALLY EXCITING Saturday. Who doesn't love riding in a crowded bus to a "political event" (in that seat of democracy...Illinois?) starting at the crack of fucking dawn with a maniacal micro-manager who wants to make sure that everything goes according to detailed, known-months-in-advance plan. You probably have a speech prepared for the very beginning of the trip, as the sun crests the hills and the driver rolls his eyes in the rearview mirror because you're like "all those lazybones who couldn't roll out of bed this morning don't know what they're missing." Except that, what you can't face in the darkness of the night, lying awake in bed, is that they do know what they're missing, and that breaks your sad, lonely heart.

Just invite 54 people, and kill yourself.

No comments:

Post a Comment